Driving thru Yellowstone

Several years ago I was on vacation with my friend in Yellowstone National Park. Neither of us had been there before and sadly, we had just one day to sort of “drive thru.” I don’t recommend that. If you ever go to Yellowstone, plan to stay a few days. Driving thru in one day is sort of like flying over Greenland and then claiming you’ve been there.

Anyway, we had a fun day of seeing just about as much as you can see in one day. Rivers, mountains, elk, buffalo, moose…even a bald eagle. And just as the sun was setting and we were about to head out of the park we saw one last sign. “Little Canyon of Yellowstone ==>” We looked at each other wondering if we should rush to see some little canyon before sunset. What the heck, we figured. So we turned right, parked and got out of the car.

We didn’t expect much. We slowly got out of the car and began to walk up to the observation deck. That’s when it happened. With each step closer our jaws dropped just a little further. It was breathtaking. Stunning. Majestic. Glorious. There was the roaring waterfall. The steep cliffs crashing down to the raging river. The sun hitting the cliffs giving the rocks a vibrant yellow and orange glow as if aflame. Words and even a picture fail to really describe the moment. My friend and I just stood there and stared for a long few moments, trying our best to absorb all we could in this holy moment.

I’ve been thinking about this memory a lot lately. It reminds me to anticipate the glorious in life. Life is hard. It is not often what one hopes and dreams it will be. There are disappointments. And sometimes you’ve just kind of operated for so long just doing what you do, that you fail to notice you are disappointed or that something is just not right. This has been me for the last few years. Frustrated. Disappointed. Sad. And not really noticing it. Kind of like driving around through Yellowstone, noticing the obvious (like the buffalo right beside the road), anticipating nothing divine. And yet, in sore need of the divine.

“Be still” is the phrase stuck in my head. “Be still and know that I am God.” I find this discipline difficult if not impossible these days. I blame it on modern and convenient technology. It has evaporated my attention span. If God doesn’t show up or answer me in 30 seconds, which is way longer than it takes my internet home page to come up, then I’m frustrated and done. I don’t know how to be still anymore.

But Jesus did it all the time. And while he didn’t have the modern technology that we have, he had plenty of things and people demanding His attention, offering distraction. Disciples worried about their next meal, people wanting to hear him teach, fisherman needing a little help with their catch, people wanting to be healed, religious people trying to trap him, etc. And yet there are several examples in scripture of Jesus sneaking away, away from the crowd, the noise to pray and be still.

It is possible. And I think in those moments where we can finally be still, He likes to show us a little more of who He is. Not that it’s a formula to fix the crap of life. By no means. It’s simply an invitation to commune and anticipate.

Life is still occasionally hard and disappointing. But that day at Yellowstone, as I stood there soaking it all in, I learned a little bit more about the Creator. I saw His beauty, His creativity, His power, His glory. And it was breathtaking. I think He longs to take our breaths away every chance He gets. And I for one, need Him too.

A Historic Day For All

Six weeks ago we watched as our country inaugurated the first African American as President of the United States. It was a hugely historic moment. Our emotions were stirred when we saw civil rights icons like Congressman John Lewis, weep as he witnessed what was once only a dream, become a reality. It was a moving, stirring day.

As I watched President Obama take the oath of office, I kept recalling the day a few years ago that I walked through the Lorraine Motel, where MLK was shot. It is now the Civil Rights Museum. My mind replayed like a video the images of slavery, of discrimination, violence and freedom marches, etc. It was a day for all those who struggled and were oppressed in ways I will never understand. And yet, I celebrated too. It was a day for all of us. It was a day for humanity. At the very least it was a day to put aside our politics.

However, that is what I want to write about. I am proud to say I voted for President Obama. But coming from a very conservative family and being an evangelical (although I don’t think I would really use that term anymore), I feel like I need to offer a defense of why I voted for the Democrat, and not the Republican. And in this process, I’ve also made some observations about the evangelical right that disturb me a little. So, this is my defense and my observations, not necessarily in that order.

I was raised in a very conservative, Christian family and environment where it was obvious, most of the time, that God was a Republican. The Republican’s were the ones who held to the moral values that we southern conservatives identified with being biblical. They were the ones who believed in the sanctity of life, sanctity of marriage, sanctity of the biblical (not) theme of pulling yourselves up by your bootstraps, the sanctity of …well most things conservative. And it was assumed that anyone who didn’t vote Republican probably wasn’t too close to Jesus and probably had some bad theology somewhere. The “other side”, the Democrats, were the enemy. And in this environment, it was natural to fear the enemy. I mean, after all, if God was a Republican, logic follows that they are of the Devil. And what would happen if the Devil were in charge? That would be the beginning of the end. And so we feared the Democrats and feared the world they would lead us to. So the Democrats, those “god-forsaken liberals” were not people to understand and work with, they were an enemy to defeat. Somewhere along the way, we conveniently forgot about Jesus’ command to love your enemies. Oh well.

But God is not a Republican. Nor is He a Democrat. He is God. He is bigger than all of this and more worthy to be praised for it. What I have found as I have grown, read, listened, experienced, etc. is that life is never as black and white as we would want it to be. Life is messy. The world is a fallen, messy place on both sides of the aisle. And in this context, there is good and bad on both sides. We can all make rational, maybe even biblical arguments as to why we, as followers of Christ, should vote this way or that. We must all vote our conscience. To me, there is nothing wrong with either choice. It is just that, a choice.

But being a somewhat more liberal evangelical (which I promise is NOT an oxymoron) here is why I chose to vote for a Democrat - simply because, I personally agree with more on their platform than I do with the Republican platform. Here are some examples and I’ll try to be brief (and no doubt speak in generalities that won’t be true across the board).

• I believe in the sanctity of human life. I believe that this issue extends far beyond just abortion (we’ll get to that in a minute). I personally believe that sanctity of life issues extend to homelessness, poverty, healthcare, the environment, as well as how we treat prisoners of war and whether or not it’s OK to torture them, and I believe on most of these issues, the Democrats are stronger. If life is sacred, and we are all equal humans created in His image, then we must be about all of these issues. If you wonder where the Lord stands on these issues, do a key word study on “poor” or “oppressed.”

Now obviously abortion is a huge issue and I do wish that the Democrats were stronger here. I hate abortion, I think it is murder, and I want it to end. But I also believe that while the right is dedicated (rightly so) to fighting abortion in the judicial and legislative realm, the right also ignores social issues (poverty, lack of education, etc.) that cause unwanted pregnancies and abortion in the first place. I want the right to succeed in making abortion illegal or at the least, much harder to get. But I fear that that day will never come. Abortion is sadly too much a part of our broken culture. So in my opinion, we must also do everything we can to decrease the number of abortions sought, which means we must deal with all of the social issues that send someone to the clinic. The fewer unwanted pregnancies there are, the fewer abortions there will be. The Democrats have a plan to decrease the number of abortions significantly over the next 10 years. And in our broken culture, I believe their plan will save more lives in the long run.

• I believe that the environment and climate are in trouble and we must take drastic steps to reduce the damage we have done, as well as to ensure our children have clean air and water. Even if global warming is not true (I believe it is – actions have consequences) I believe we still need vast improvement in being better stewards of the earth the Lord gave us. God gave us a mandate to rule and preserve the earth, not plunder and drain it of all of its resources. We are a consumer driven society that is ruining the world in which we live. Believing in the end times and that “its all going to burn anyway” is no excuse for waste and irresponsibility in the meantime. I’m convinced that is not what God had in mind. For more ideas and thoughts on this, check out the great book “Serve God Save the Planet” by Matthew Sleeth.

• I believe that everyone is entitled to healthcare and that if it were affordable, everyone who wants it would have it. I believe that a healthcare system can be devised that maintains our level of excellence and competitiveness, while being affordable for everyone. I’ve experience socialized medicine. I don’t want that. But I believe a great middle ground can be found. I hope I’m right.

• I believe that “spreading the wealth,” as Obama’s tax plan was called by the right, is actually a biblical concept. Here’s where I get it. In 2 Corinthians 8 Paul is encouraging the Corinthian church in their giving and says this, “For this is not for the ease of others and for your affliction, but by way of equality-at this present time your abundance being a supply for their need, so that their abundance also may become a supply for your need, that there may be equality;”

Now there is no time to exegete this passage here. But it is a good one to chew on. And there seems to be a biblical sense of equality here that in my opinion, is not on display in our current economics. The Bible says “to whom much has been given, much is required.” I believe this applies to our finances as well.

• And finally, I wholeheartedly agree with what President Obama said in his inaugural address regarding the size of government. I no longer believe that the question should be, “ is government to small or too big?” The question should be, “is government needed and how much?” Were it is needed, it should be. Where it is not, it should be removed. In this sense, I think the President is on the right track.


Now I could go on a little further, but I won’t. What I’ve written above is enough. And I know some will say I am naïve, or using passages out of context (I would argue the principal still applies), or haven’t thought things through well, etc. That's fine. I'm not claiming I'm right. And I'm willing to be wrong. This is just some of the reasoning behind why I made the choice I made. If you made a different choice, excellent. Let’s discuss. You are not my enemy.

And that is my final admonishment to the evangelical right, of which in many ways I still fall in line. The other side is not your enemy. Our enemy is not of flesh and blood, right? As followers of Christ are we not supposed to be known by our love? Can we seek to love those who disagree with us and open up honest conversations? I believe we can. Let us hold fast our convictions. But let us not hold so dogmatically to our persuasions and opinions that not only do we refuse to even listen or engage anything else, but we resort to fear tactics ("Obama is a muslim who hates christians and families!") and false judgements ("God hates fags!") to convince people we are right. When that happens, the church becomes known in the world as a place of judgement and in my opinion that does more harm for the Gospel than good. Let us approach anything with love first. I'm not saying we should avoid truth, not at all. But if we lead with love and humility I think we will end up with more of a platform to talk about truth, even in politics. Let us not live in fear of each other and the future anymore. Let us love. Let us seek to understand each other. Let us humbly be willing to listen. Let us work humbly together for a future that is honoring to our God. And yes, let us hope.



PS – Sorry for the length here. I guess it’s been too long since I’ve written and just had a lot to say.

coming back soon

I haven't written anything in a long while. But I'm coming back soon.
Not that anyone's reading, but whatever.
Be back soon.

Valet Bicycles, Botox and Bald Eagles

OK, I know it has been forever since my last post. So sorry. But there has been a lot of transition in my life over the last 3 months and needless to say, things have been a bit hectic. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have things to write about because, believe me, I do. One can’t travel to California and back twice without having something to write about. So, upon my return, if anyone is still reading, we’ll begin there.

One of the transitions I’ve made is a new job. More about that later. But for this post, you should know that I work for a company that makes films, among other things. Right now we are busy with several different documentary projects. It’s been a crazy 3-4 months, but also a lot of fun.

To make these films we have had to travel to LA on 2 separate occasions. These were my first trips back to LA since I went as a child on vacation with my Dad, step-mom and sister. That was the year 1984. I know that because it was also the year that the Olympics were in LA (Mary Lou Retton, Lionel Richie at the closing ceremonies – what more could you want?) and we happened to be there just 2 or so weeks AFTER the Olympics. But Olympic stuff was still everywhere. Thus, it was late August of 1984. And I guess I should mention that I had a “Lil Orphan Annie” curly perm cut mullet style. What can I say? My mother still reigned over my hair. In retrospect, I looked like a 10 year old, curly headed lesbian (is it wrong to say that?). My tube socks probably didn’t help.

So after all these years it was actually fun to return to LA, even though travel wreaks havoc on my diet. There was a lot I got to do, other than just work of course. And even some of that was fun. We did get to film interviews on the sets of “Greys Anatomy” and “The Best Damned Sports Show Ever.” That was pretty cool. And I got to hang out with a friend who just recently moved there and she took me to a Dodger Game. That was pretty awesome. And Catalina Island is pretty cool too. For that day, me and a couple of others rented a tiny motor boat and rode around the island. We had a couple of those sacred nature moments when we spotted a baby seal on the shore, just to have it’s mom poke it’s head up about 10 feet in front of us and just stare at us for a moment. And then, a few minutes later, we had a young, bald eagle circle us several times before the damn seagulls chased it away. Pretty cool stuff.

But there is also, what I like to call, the plastic side of LA. Like, the elderly man pushing a stroller that is probably holding his children, NOT his grandchildren. Or when we drove through Beverly Hills and Bel Air at what was apparently quitting time for all the maids, as they were being dropped off by their employers at the bus stops. Then there was the paparazzi chasing someone (I didn’t recognize her) as she shopped on Rodeo Drive. And not to mention all the botoxed, face lifted, big hair, plastic people who refuse to look their age. And then my personal favorite, the sign outside a restaurant that said, “Valet Bicycle Parking.” Seriously?! Do we need valet parking for a bicycle? Isn’t the point of riding your bike make valet parking a bit ironic. Only in California.

So, what is the point of all this? Well for one, it sure is good to be home. Secondly, if you want to people watch, LA is a great place (I didn’t even mention the hippie acrobat at Santa Monica beach). But really, I think I’ve learned that I am quick to judge things by their appearances. What was an amusing sort of game, can also be a hurtful pattern. Not one I want to become a habit for sure.

I think I need a few more of those moments like with the seal or the bald eagle, in the peaceful calm, that take my breath away, interrupt the mayhem and cause me to slow down and hear His still, small voice. Perhaps in that quiet solitude, I’ll learn to love like Him and not judge.

Peace

You remember that scene in Miss Congeniality (and don’t pretend like you didn’t see that cheesy movie – we all know you did) when Sandra Bullock’s character answers her beauty pageant question with something serious, which leaves the crowd in a stunned, awkward silence, so she quickly follows it up with “and world peace” which is met with an enthusiastic response? For some reason that scene has popped up in my head. World peace. Something we all long for but in many ways, have made it kind of cliché in our lives or political beliefs. Yeah, yeah, we all want world peace, blah blah blah. We want it, but we’re not sure it’s really possible, so we leave it to the politicians and world leaders and even celebrities to usher it in. For most of us I think, we do nothing to pursue it. In fact, we probably can’t even imagine how to begin.

But Jesus talked about peace on earth. The angels sang (long before Bono) that very phrase when Jesus was born, implying that peace on earth is wholly wrapped up in the person of Jesus. But I think it’s a very different kind of peace. When we talk about peace on earth, most of the time we mean the laying down of weapons, the end of all wars. But Jesus said there would be wars and rumors of wars until the end. So, I don’t think that is the kind of peace He ushered into this world with His life, death and resurrection.

So what kind of peace is it? In 2 Cor. 5, Paul writes that we have been reconciled to Christ and are therefore made ministers of reconciliation. We are His ambassadors. A lot of us have been led to believe that simply means sharing the Gospel with those who don’t know it. That’s true, but I’m beginning to believe it’s only half true.

As followers of Jesus we are called to bring reconciliation to others, peace to others. To bring justice where there is none. To feed the poor. To free the oppressed. To love where there is no love. To go 2 miles when someone asks us to go one.

To bring peace on earth, the question isn’t what do we do, but how far are we willing to go. Are you willing to mix it up with the poor and the oppressed? After all, I once heard someone say that a great wrong isn’t that we don’t give to the poor, it’s that we don’t even KNOW the poor. Are you willing to go that far? Are you willing to get to know homosexuals who think the church is full of hatred and judgment (probably because they’ve been hated and judged)? Are you willing to fight the injustice throughout the entire world? Are you willing to be uncomfortable for the sake of Jesus and His peace?

And let’s not miss that for others to be reconciled, it requires us. In His master plan, He chooses to use us. It requires our obedience. Like at the wedding feast where Jesus turned water into wine. Mary, his mother, after telling Jesus they were out of wine, told the servants to do whatever Jesus told them to do. And they did. They chose to obey Jesus. And water was turned to wine. And not cheap yellow tail wine, but the best and finest wine. It seems to me that when we choose to obey, miracles can happen.

So for peace to come, we must obey, we must be selfless, and probably, at some point, be pretty uncomfortable. The question is, are we willing?

Goat on a Leash

The other night some friends of mine made me go see the movie “Amazing Grace.” Now, I’m certainly not going to write a review here but I will say that overall the movie worked for me. In fact, a couple of times I got a little teary, which for those of you who know me, you know that doesn’t happen often (I’m just not a crier in movies). But the reason it worked for me is that it made me stop and really think about repentance. I mean really think about it. What does it mean to repent, to completely turn away from your sin? Yes, even that sin that I seem to continually commit. What is true repentance and how does it affect my daily life? These are the questions I began to ask.

Of course, this thinking continued Sunday night at the Gathering when Brian spoke compellingly about the blood sacrifice. Here’s the thing that kept going through my head. I think I live like I’m pulling the goat by a leash behind me. Now I know that sounds weird, so let me explain. I once heard a pastor tell the story of the scapegoat. He shared how the high priest would lay his hands on the head of the goat symbolizing the transference of the people’s sins to the goat. Then the goat would be sent outside of the Israelites camp, thus outside of the community altogether, to the wilderness to wander and never be seen again. This all symbolized that the people’s sin was removed from them. But the pastor took it one step further. As he was explaining all of this, behind him and to the side it was demonstrated for us. A man dressed royally in high priestly garb actually laid his hands on a live goat and then sent the goat from the building. It was a powerful picture. The pastor went on to say “ladies and gentleman, the goat has left the building.”

It was a powerful picture that our sins, thanks to the perfect sacrifice once and for all through Jesus, are removed from us. Our sins are gone. Jesus paid the price. He was the blood sacrifice required for our redemption. We are forgiven. The goat has left the building and left it for good.

But so often I think, as I said before, that I live like I’m pulling the goat by a leash behind me. Basically, I have a hard time really understanding that I am free from my sin. I keep it close by me so that every new sin I can just add to the load. It’s no wonder that I find repentance hard when I’m holding onto a full load. I drag all of my sin around wondering when the Lord will ever set me free. I fail to daily believe that He has already done so.

And yet, He has set me free. Through His blood and through His sacrifice, we have all been set free. And the knowledge of His atonement should make repentance easy. Sometimes I think it boils down to cost. Is Jesus, our savior, worth the cost of my repentance? Is he worth more than whatever temporary satisfaction my sin is bringing me? Is He worth more than my comfort?

The answer is a resounding yes. The Lamb who was slain is worth it all (see Rev. 4-5). He demonstrated it on the cross, through His blood. And I for one am committed to living like the goat has really, forever, left the building.

The Nerd Within Us All

OK, recently I divulged to you my secret like of Battlestar Galactica. It’s a good show, I admit it (although for those of you who are fans and watch it – they better get back to fighting Cylons. The show isn’t as good without the Cylons. There is such a thing as too much character development. Still a good show though).

Having divulged this, my question is now this: why do we try so hard to hide the nerd within us? We’re all a bit nerdy in some way in my estimation. Why not just own it and come out with it. Wouldn’t it be great and very entertaining if the inner nerd within us all was a part of the daily persona we show to everyone? Talk about authenticity. And that’s what we all want, right? Authentic community? Of course, that’s also what we’re fiercely afraid of, but that’s another blog article all together.

I think sometimes when we talk or consider authenticity, we do so only in the category of “sharing our struggles, our sins.” We define being vulnerable with someone as equal to sharing all of our crap with them. And therefore, authenticity and vulnerability become these monster size thing to do. Of course, I don’t want to take away from that kind of vulnerability. It is needed and biblical and definitely is where unconditional love and grace can be found.

But what if authentic community involved sharing all of our quirky, fun nerdy-ness without apology to our friends as well. I think that would be a blast. And I know 2 pastors who would no longer have to hide their likes of Justin Timberlake and Pink, respectively (I’m not naming names, don’t ask).

So, in the spirit of encouraging authentic nerdy-ness amongst us all, here is my list of top 10 things that make me a nerd.

1. I like Battlestar Galactica
2. I like Celine Dion – I don’t own her music and probably never will, but when her song is on the radio and I’m by myself, I sing like I’m on a Vegas stage, baby.
3. I love looking at maps – not for knowing where I’m going, I just like looking at maps (I am very good with directions though and can navigate a foreign city like nobody’s business).
4. I like watching documentary films.
5. I know lots of useless facts and trivia – which may not sound nerdy, but definitely is when I quote one in public (unless I’m playing Trivial Pursuit).
6. I’m Chandler Bing – I get uncomfortable in emotional moments and tend to crack a joke – which is rarely appropriate and leaves people feeling awkward and me inwardly calling myself a dork.
7. I’m Monica Geller – I’m a neat freak and my roommates would probably say I can be a bit of a nazi neat freak, though I would disagree (and yes, for those of you wondering, you do rinse the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher, first you cleanse, then you sterilize).
8. I’m good with electronics. I can hook most things up and run things without looking at directions. Most girls would never admit to it.
9. I’m flat footed and my feet often hurt.
10. I have to use an asthma inhaler when I run – which shouldn’t be nerdy since it’s a medical necessity, but it just is.

OK, now it’s your turn. Play along in the comments. I want to know your nerdy-ness. Don’t hide anymore. Embrace the Urkel inside.